Hello and welcome!

Hi! Welcome to Schlock Therapy! Somehow, you stumbled upon this blog which happens to be about terrible B-movies from the 1950’s and 60’s. So, unless you are one of my friends who I’ve been shamelessly begging to visit this site*, you must actually have a genuine interest in crappy old movies! Well guess what. So do I!

First off, for legal reasons, I’d like to state clearly that this blog is BY NO MEANS intended to be therapeutic, as the name might imply. I was just making a pun there, and you should not consider these posts to be a suitable substitute for actual therapy. PLEASE continue to see your regular professional therapist. I say this not only to cover my ass, but also for your own health and safety (you’re welcome).

Anyways, like I said this is a blog about schlock cinema. You might be wondering, what the hell is schlock. Fortunately, I did quite a bit of research (you’re welcome) on the meaning of the word schlock, using the dictionary app that came with my phone. Here’s what I got, in case you’re unfamiliar with the term:

Schlock [shlok]: something of cheap or inferior quality; junk.
Also, it says that the expression has its origins in Yiddish. Which is interesting I guess.

But the schlock that I want to talk about actually originates not from Yiddish, but rather from Hollywood. And more specifically, for the purposes of this blog, 50’s and 60’s Hollywood. So, what exactly are “schlock” movies and what makes them so great? Well, a fairly well-known example of this genre is the original Godzilla**. If you’ve never seen it, it’s basically about a giant rubber suit that steps on a scale model of Tokyo. Now, you may not be aware of this, but Hollywood is responsible for literally hundreds of cheaply made, ridiculous films that are a million, if not a jillion times worse! What’s more, all of them are completely, 100% hilarious. In short, within the span of two short decades, the American film industry has churned out enough cinematic garbage to keep the average person entertained forever!

So now, I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “Those are pretty impressive numbers, but you can get statistics to say anything. Where’s the proof?” Well, as they say, the proof is in the pudding. And, my friend, that’s exactly what this blog is: a big, warm, sludgy pile of pudding. Getting hungry yet?

So stay tuned as I continue to watch and comment on some of the greatest low-budget films to ever tarnish the silver screen!

Thanks.
(You’re welcome.)

*or, you might be a complete stranger that I accosted on the street with a hand-made pamphlet announcing this blog. In which case, thank u for not stabbing me.

**Many people (mostly people who take stuff too seriously) don’t consider Godzilla to fall into the category of “schlock”. Some may even call it a landmark piece of cold-war era cinema. To those people, all I have to say is: What the hell is a cold war?