When you’re an online celebrity like myself, lots of people want to annoy you with questions. Here are some of the ones that I hear all the time. They’re what I like to call “FAQs” or Frequently Asked Questions, for short.

Q: You seem a little stuck in the past. Don’t you ever watch any films that came out AFTER 1968?
A: Yes, of course. Once I saw an excellent TV movie starring that girl from Beverly Hills 90210. That was pretty recent I think.

Q: What’s your favorite B-movie of all time?
A: Excellent question. I guess I’d have to say Forbidden Planet, starring film legend Leslie Nielsen. Mostly because of the part when the robot drinks bourbon.

Q: You know you’re not really famous, right? Nobody reads this blog.
A: Well, you’re reading it. Jerk.

Q: Why is it that most of these great low-budget films came out in the 50’s?
A: Famous scholars and film critics seem to think it has something to do with America’s lost innocence, and Cold War era escapism. But I think it’s because folks in Hollywood used to be willing to take a risk once in a while when they made movies. Time and time again we, as a nation, have placed “Success” above “Friggin’ Hilarious”.

2 comments on “FAQ

  1. Discovered your blog when my sister described the movie Monster on the Campus in great detail but couldn’t remember the name of it. I googled “coelacanth b movie” (yes, she remembered that a coelacanth was featured in it – she’s like that) and lo and behold your blog came up along with a lot of other useless scientific information about coelacanths. Clearly, you are providing a much needed service. Keep up the good work! I’ve just wasted at least an hour reading through this whole damn thing and watching clips of some of the worst movies ever. I intend to share this with all of my friends. Or, at least, the one or two who would really appreciate it.

    • My friend, I am humbled by your praise (and believe me, someone with my level of intelligence and success is not easily humbled). I couldn’t agree more with your comment regarding those insipid “science” websites that rely so heavily on such mundane details as “documentation” and “fact”. You, sir, are clearly a man of rare wit and perception. Thank you.

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